Research Area B
City Dwellers is an ongoing sound-based installation project.
It has been going on since 2017, and so far lead to seven presentations and try-outs:City Dwellers # 1 – 4 at KHiO March 2019.City Dwellers # 5 and 6 at Vega scene September – November 2019 and City Dwellers #7 at Gallery Bananaz February 2020.City Dwellers # 8 and 9 will be presented at Intonal (Malmø) and at Vårscenefest (Tromsø) the spring of 2020.
City Dwellers consists of a pool of 400 texts recorded in studio and on site.
These texts/voices are either written texts (from this pool), or improvisations on these written texts. Things that occur in the studio while recording. In the recording sessions, new texts emerge inspired by the “old”.
Some of the texts in this compilation are also quotes or over-writings of texts from facebook, film, tv, general conversations etc.
In the studio many languages are in use (Norwegian, English, Swedish, French, Farsi, Arabic, Islandic, Dutch and so on).
All the work represented here is in English.
I also work with sociolects and dialects.
The tone in the readings are everyday and verbal, even when the texts has a more literary value. They texts are never “played”/acted out, but sometimes the texts themselves or the situations that occur in the studio lends color and temperament to the reading. I try to make the texts tone, rhythm, content etc. as “active” as the prepared interpretations in the recording situation.
The readers are actors, colleagues, people I bump into, friends and family, and many of the texts have been through several recordings with many different writers. It is this sound-material that is the bases for the works when I compose them.
In the finished work polyvocality and simultaneity is of the essence. On paper – this is not easy to “copy”, so here you find the texts as material, organized according to a very rough timeline. This means that the more historical material comes first, while the contemporary follows later. Many of the texts are repeated and used several times in works. One could say that a new meaning or a new texts appear, as it gets read a different ways or by a different voices.
In a written compilation of the ground-texts like this, – this will not show. So consider this as what it is – a pool of material to be recorded, composed, combined and recombined.
1
I’VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT
Wine-leaves everywhere
So thick it covers everything
Deer in the woods
and squirrelsand everything wild
Apples and plums
and turkey, and quail, and pheasants and woodcock
and we’re growing melons, and peaches
and plumbs and pears and apples, mulberries and grapes
and there are wild bees for honey, and aromatic herbs growing wild
And locals
paddling along the ship all the way up-river
eager to trade
2
WATCH OUT!
Don’t mess it up!
Don’t drop that cargo
You have no idea what those crates are worth
And there is more where that’s coming from
Fifteen barrels just on this ship!
3
NO, GO FOR THE OAKS
Take the big ones first
The hardwood
The hazel
Go for the hazel!
4
A
SO WHAT DID HE BRING THE COMMANDER?
A wife -
Crates of brandy, certainlyand three horses –
B
Two
?
Two horses, sir
In the end sir
One of them died sir
the day he arrived
5
SHOW THAT SHOVEL INTO THE EARTH BOY!
Can you feel it
Soft as butter. You just sink into it
Have you ever seen earth as black as that
Like butter – I’m telling you –
Cutting through that earth like butter, boy
6
I THINK WE ARE READY FOR PLOUGHING
With what?
It’s the season
With what I say
There is only one horse – and he owns it
-
We can’t pay for it
I know we can’t pay for it
I’ll be the horse
You heard me – I’ll be the bloody horse
7
IT’S A GIRL!
Version 1:
It’s a girl!It’s a girl!
Version 2: See Marie Therese
See!
A girl!
It’s a girl
8
BORN ON THE SECOND OF FEBRUARY (while writing it down)
Born on the second of February
in the settlement
A girl
9
I’M JUST GOING DOWN TO THE LAND
version 1:
I´m just going down to the landJust for a minute
Just to see
Just to check that everything is ok
No, don’t worry
It’s going to be alright
I’m just going down to check the crops
To draw some water
Short pause
It’s only for a little while
Look the neighbours are upYou can see the lights in the window
Just you go over to them
You can go over to them if you feel like it
Ok
Just stay here then
love
This is our land now
Our house
–
Hush
Listen
How silent
How silent it is
10
DON’T WAIT UP
Go to bed – I will take care of it
11
WHAT DID YOU SAY DEAR?
12
GOD IT HASN’T RAINED FOR WEEKS
I wish it would rain
13
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
14
HUSH
15
IT’S MINE
version 1: It’s mine
They gave it to us
We never took it
version 2:
They gave it to me
version 3:
This is my land now my house We never took it – They gave it to me – And it hasn’t rained for weeks
Version 4:I am just going down to the land
version 5:
This is the place
This is my house
Not taken
16
LISTEN
You can almost hear the river
You can almost hear the grass grow
17
I’VE NEVER BEEN A GODFEARING PERSON
version 1: I’ve never been a God-fearing person
AI’ve never been a God-fearing person
I believe in God
I pray every night
18
I BELIEVE IN GOD
19
STARTS HUMMING AND CONTINUES TO DO SO
20
STARTS HUMMING, CURSING OR PRAYING
21
LOOK – THE NEIGHBOURS ARE UP
22
SO CAN YOU DO THAT?
Look after it?
Just for a minute?
the dog
– That dog
It
it just keeps on barking
There is no way we can -
It just barks and barks
every time anybody moves
sits
stands – It’s such a light sleeper
just opening a door sets it off and then
it can keep it going for hours
23
TURN AROUND
and smile
– yes.
Just like that!
And twirl!
24
SEVEN MARRIAGES
Seven marriages
Seven marriages we celebrated that year
Seven marriages in 1712 – and 43 baptisms
43 baptisms
and 15 deaths
And then –
The fire
25
FIRE-SESSION:
26
ARE YOU THERE?
version 1: Are you there?
version 2: Are you all there?
27
I AM HERE
version 1: I am here
version 2: Yes, mummy is here
28
ALWAYS, ALWAYS LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER
29
WE ARE A FAMILY NOW, AND FAMILIES STICK TOGETHER
30
DEAR MOTHER (while writing it down)
Der mother
how is it with all of you at home
we had a fire
The summers was so warm and this fire was relentless
No
No (corrects him/herself)
Dear mother
we are fine
There was a fire her at the fort, a few weeks ago
but we are alright now
31
REMEMBER TO WASH YOUR HANDS
Version 1: Remember to wash your hands
Version 2: Remember to wash your hands And your face!
32
IT WILL ALL BE FINE
33
WE’RE GROWING CORN AGAIN NOWand melons, and peaches
plumbs and pears and apples, mulberries and grapes
34
Don’t drop that log!
35
SO WHAT DID YOU BRING?
A new lamp?
A new wife?
A plow, seeds, horses?
Crates of brandy?
We could sure need it!
36
GOD ITS HOT
God its hot
Version 2: God its hot, this summer
37
AND IT HASN’T RAINED FOR WEEKS
Version 1: And it hasn’t rained for weeks
Version 2: And it hasn’t rained for weeks
38
IT WAS SUCH A HOT SUMMER
Another incredibly hot summer
And a baker went to the mill with some flour
And the grass was all brown
And the hay was all yellow
And he knocked some ash from his pipe
39
DON’T WORRY
the dogs fine
40
NO!
41
NOT AGAIN!
42
THERE IS NO STOPPING THIS ONE
43
THERE WILL BE NO SAVING US THIS TIME!
44
AND AFTERWARDS THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT
The town gone
They say they rigged an alter up in the orchard – and held services in the open air
45
HUSH ITS ALRIGHT
It’s alright
Husssshhssss
I’m here now
It’s going to be aaaaalright
46
I AM HERE NOW
47
COME TO THE WINDOW AND LOOK
Look
Come to the window and look
Ponies
Wild ponies
Wild ponies in the street
Oh – their back
They’ve come for the salt
In the barrel’s – Outside Mr Marks shop
Who owns them?
Some farmers – Before – Nobody now, I think
Look at that white one
Aaaall white
It’s all shiny, isn’t? Like a silver spoon
48
THEY ARE SHOOTING AGAIN
Mum
They are shooting again
Down by the river
Up in the hills
It’s nothing
I heard it
I heard it all true the night
It’s just some kids fooling around
You’ll see
No -The dogs went wild with barking
I think they’ve killed somebody
49
ON THE 6th OF JUNE (while writing it down maybe)
On the 6th of June 1706
the dog from the colony
bites a local man
BNo it wasn’t -
A It wasn’t what?
BIt was a local dogNot a one of oursa downstream dog -
A (correcting his report) – a downstream dog …
And –
B – it was a a consequence of him kicking the dog, the localan upstream local He was so severely beaten by commander that –
A That -
BHe died.He died, sir
The dog died?
No, the priest
The priest, sir
He was walking in his garden, and then he was captured, –
by upstream locals – and then a Chief ordered the they release him, the priest, -
but when he was to pass through the Fort gate
he was shot dead by another local and the commander –
he ordered the garrison of 15 soldiers to fire and then then they killed them, sir.
by upstream folk – locals –
and then a they ordered to release him,
the priest,
but he was shot dead –
by another local and the commander –
he ordered the garrison of 15 soldiers to fire and then then they
killed them, sir.
Thirty of themAll dead
Thirty dogs
Thirty locals, sir
30 dead
Upstream locals.
And then the locals tried to get some other locals from the north to join them
and when they refused, the locals from down here attacked the northerners
and then the siege happened
And now, – and now the count is asking the Governor to intercede –
50
WHATEVER HAPPENS, HAPPENS FOR A REASON
Whatever happens, happens for a reason
Version 2:
Whatever happens has already happened, they say
Version 3:
Whatever more could happen after this?
Version 4:
All that can happen has already happened to us
51
I DON’T GIVE A SHIT
52
ONCE BESIEGED BY THE LOCALS
And twice burned to the ground
53
SO THERE WAS THIS DOG
eh
It was a like a local dog but, but not from – not from our area
but from downstream
and hmm
it bit the commander and ah
as it happened
the commander ended up killing him eh or was it him
I am not sure
but it was the priest – anyway who got dead
he was – he was walking in his garden
and eh and eh
the dog bit the guy
and he got so angry that he went and killed the priest
(small laugh)
this local guy from – from upstream
and then the commander gathered 15 soldiers
and they shot all of them, all the locals
like 30 of them
all dead
And that’s how it started ( based on impro on text 49 in the studio)
54
AND ALL THIS – WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH THAT DOG?
And all this – what does it have to do with that dog?
Or that priest?
Or that incident in 1706?
55
WELL, THEY SHOT THEM
thirty deadThirty locals
And then they started moving them up the river
We came up the river
and others came down
And soon they will have nowhere to go
56
NO GOD
– it cannot be –
Could it?
57
I DON’T KNOW
version 1: I don’t know
version 2: Well, I don’t know
58
THEY CAN’T DO US ANYTHING, CAN THEY?
59
COULD YOU PASS THE JAM?
60
I DON’T LIKE THEM BEING THAT CLOSE TO MY HOUSE
61
DID YOU SEE HIM?
Did you see him?
That local man
The one with the hat?
62
THE LOCALS
They hide in the water
And then they are there
In the night
And
tsjjjjkk
they take their knifes out
63
STOP IT!
You are frightening the children
64
THEY SWIM UPSTREAM
I saw them
I see them
65
THE ARMY IS MOVING THEM FURTHER DOWN THE RIVER
66
WHAT’S THAT DOG BARKING FOR?
67
TAKE THE DOG DEAR
68
WHAT DO THEY WANT HERE?
69
HE WAS JUST
He was just
Just outside the window
70
DID YOU TELL THEM?
That we don’t want them
We don’t want them here
71
THEY ARE HERE FOR THE TRADE
72
THEY WON’T COME
Version 1: They won’t come
Not tonight
Nothing will come of it
Version 2: It Won’t come here, will it?
73
WAR CRIES
War cries
74
THIS WAR
This war – there is no end to it
75
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH US
76
THEY SAY
Version 1: They say they are moving inland
Version 2: They say its all up to the government now
Version 3: They say It’s going to be aaalright
77
IT WAS THE FALL
It was the fall of 1790
There had been assaults all through the summer
The army was moving the locals inland
And then two local tribes repelled one assault – killing 183 soldiers in the process
and then in the spring
it was such bad weather – west of the river, – and we had just a few guards there and no barricades
it happened in the morning during breakfast –
78
IT SOUNDED LIKE THERE WERE THOUSANDS OF THEM
79
DON´T GO ANYWHERE NEAR THE RIVER
Promise me
80
THEY ARE CROSSING THE RIVER!
81
I TOLD YOU
I told you
I told you I told you they’d come in the nigh
82
OVERRUN
Totally overrun
by locals
Upstream locals
The camp was decimated and then
the army took revenge
It was a bloodbath
Hundreds dead
I don’t know –
What a fucking surrender
83
WE WERE OVERRUN
Version 1: We were overrun
Version 2: We were overrunTotally overrun
Version 3:What are we?
Overrun?
Version 4: We were overrun
The camp was
decimated
and then the army took revenge
84
WHAT A FUCKING
Version 1: What a fucking surrender
Version 2: What a fucking bloodbath
Version 3: What a fucking bloodbath
85
WHAT A SENSELESS USE OF GUN POWDER
Version 1:What a senseless use of gunpowder
Version 2:What a riotous waste of gunpowder
86
THERE WERE ALL THESE STORIES
There are all these stories
Such as having his soldiers go through the mess-line at mealtime
over and over again – to give the appearance of being manyto those watching from the other side of the riverAn army three times its actual size
87
ITS MINE VARIATIONS
1: It’s mine
2: It’s mine
It’s my children’s
It’s my children’s children’s
4: It belongs to my family
5: It’s mineWe never took itThey gave it to us
6: It belongs to my family
7: It’s mine
We’ve worked for this in generations
8: Its theirsIt’s their future
9: It’s mine
It’s all we have
The soil The food on my table
A mans honour
88
THE BOAT
They say that their boat hit a rock and broke in two
that she tried to jump
that she tried to jump the ship with her baby daughter on her hip and that when the found her
washed up on the shore
she had pieces of gold sewn into her skirts …
89
THERE WAS THIS RUMOU
about this relative of mine – It was kind of a story too
that went around in the family, about this uncle, or a cousin that had fallen in the battle of Midway Creek
and that was exhumed from his grave to be taken home here to this local cemetery that does not exist anymore – that cemeteryThey say there is a bakery there now, – after the fire and all. Anyway – before they took him here
they boiled him
his bones in this big cauldronand stuffed the remains into to saddlebags
and so they took the bones here, by horse overland – And they say, – some folks say – and my grandaunt Hilda always used to say, -
That his ghost still walks the flint hills
along the highway up there, looking for the missing bones that they say fell out from the saddle-bags.
90
200 HUNDRED WOUNDED
Bruised heads, black eyes, bloody noses
But no deaths
91
THERE ARE THESE STORIES
Such as soldiers going through the mess line over and over again –
to give the appearance of being an army three times its actual size
92
THE CAMP WAS DECIMATED
And then the army took revenge
93
THE KILLING WAS RELENTLESS
94
THIS CITY HAS SO MANY MANES:
Stove City, Dry Dock City, Cigar City, Salt City,
Black Earth City, River City, Beyond the river City
Big City, Woodland City, Green City, Runaway City –
I don’t know what to call it anymore
95
HE FELL
Both his leg
His back
they broke
He will never walk again
Talk again
Both of them
Broke
Like matchsticks
His left arm – in five different places
No point trying to fix it
He just lies there
But his face is the same
I feed him
Wash him
Not a word
His eyes watching me
My man
His face just the same
Not a scratch – just blood pouring out of his left air
They said he was dead
But I knew he wasn’t
He will live
I don’t hate him for it
For living
For falling
It just sucks the blood out of me
There is no warmth in this house anymore
All the children
Even the youngest out
working
At the mill, at the works, at the chicken-farm
No coal left for the fire
Tonight I will sleep with the dogs
96
I’LL JUST GO DOWN TO THE LAND version 2
Don’t sit up
I’LL JUST GO DOWN TO THE LAND version 3
I’ll just go down to the land
Just for a minute
Go to bed
Why should you?
Why should you worry?
Why should you sit up?
Pause
Look the neighbours are up
their just across the street
You can see the lights in the window
Just you keep the lights on
Just stay here then love
Just you warm yourself some milk
The children are sleeping
They are sleeping I say
It’s all safe I say
97
WHO CARES WHO RULES THIS PLACE
The fort has gone to seed
and it’s a puddle of mud in the autumn
and we are practically snowed in winter
Not brick house in sight
Why on earth would people want to fight over this place
98
BORN ON THE 17th OF NOVEMBER
In the middle of a thunderstorm at Point Gross
Dead at four o’clock in the morning on the 20th
Father’s name BoyMother’s name Betty
99
SHE WAS LIKE THAT, MY BABY
soft as beeswax she was born
birdlike
100
BIRDFACE
Be close
Betty-birdface
I will still marry you
in a sandpit
In a bakery, in a butcher-shedI promiseI promise as before – I will be bothersome like a brother
I’ll be fierce
Like a new-born – and Boy to
no one
101
DON’T CRY
Version 1: Don’t cry
Don’t cry
I’m not
102
I CAN’T MAKER HER STOP CRYING
103
104
I DON´T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT
105
THEY SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD
Hung him in a tree – took all his clothes off and left him there
This boyans
Just left him there – hanging
Outside the school
Yes
It was a school
And you know the birds
The birds – they always go for the eyes
No my aunt told me
She saw it herself
106
THAT´S WHAT HAPPENED
Straight through the head
107
ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR
108
THEY SHOT HIM
They shot him
Who?
That walker
He just passed by – and they shot him
I cannot believe it
It’s the boyans – they did it
109
IT WAS A LOCAL
He did it
110
THAT´S A LIE
111
WHO´S A LIAR!
I saw it myself
112
I DON’T LIKE THEM
I don’t like them coming up here
BThe natives bought themits labour
113
FUR-TRADER ASKIM OWNED EIGHTWilliam of Gross Point owned 2and the mayor, nobody knew how many he had
Not many, I’m sure
Not natives anyway –
I know
He only let God-fearing people into his home
Strange people these boyans
I would not call them people
What would you call them? Beasts?
Not people at least
114
BEATRICE
Beatrice?
He called her that
C
And you received him?
In your tea-rom
That man Boy is just a boy
Who’s the mother?
Betty
Aren’t they all called Betty?
A domestic
That scrawny thing in the kitchen?
Beatrice
That’s a name to pick
What about it!
This baby
This Beatrice creature – That boy …
Surely he – we all – knew she would not live
his mother being like that
No meat on her
A/C
The boy wants to put it on her tombstone
That’s why he stands there
That’s why he stands there and just won’t leave
As if it wasn’t enough with the upstream and the downstream ganging up all through the summer
115
IT´S JUST NOT TRUE WHAT THEY SAY
That he had boyans
116
NO
No no no – Not him. He never had any
117
THAT´S JUST A RUMOUR
118
WHAT RUMOUR?
119
I GUESS THERE WERE LAWS AGAINST IT
120
NOT UP HERE
121
MANY DID
122
NOT ANYMORE
There is a law against it now
123
YOU CAN ALMOST HEAR THE BANTER
going on
All the boyans playing cards
Over at Mr Marks shop
124
SHOW ME THAT HAND
125
BEEN NO BETTER HAND THAN MINE
put down a bet or nothing will come of it
126
BE BRAVE
Bet better
127
COME HOME
128
AND IN HIS SHOP
And in his shop there were photographs of abbeys and ancient places. Of birches, brooks, canals, cattle, churches, cottages, crags, crosses – dingles, farms, ferns, foxgloves, gables, ivy, land, locks, oaks, ponds, rustic bridges, and tombs – and watermills, windmills, walls and woods.[i]
129
I SAW HER, I SAW HER!
that black eyed, olive-skinned maid I told you about!
I saw her
In the marked – she was there!
She’s not from here
She is from the other side of the tracks
She was there
At the marked
She got on this pony-cart
With this family
It’s true
It’s true – She really exist
130
KISS ME
131
DON’T GO
132
WE HAVE EVERYTHING HERE (while writing a letter)
We have everything here
More than you can imagine
Troops of locals
with big baskets and skins burning big fires and shouting
and dancing their war-dances
And hunters
with bales of beaver, mink and fox outside the trading-stores
Stale old judges with powdered wigs and officers
with brilliant scarlet uniforms – gold lace and sword-knots
And ladies
with crimson petticoats and beehive bonnets
and now and then the ponies
Black and white and brown just scurrying through town
133
I WANNA SEE THE PARADE!
I wanna see the parade!
Please mum
Please I wanna see it
134
CAN WE SEE IT?
135
YOU CAN´T STOP ME FROM SEEING IT?
136
COME ON EVERYBODY
Version 1 :
Come on everybody!
you too woman
We’re off to the park to see the elephant!
137
WHERE ARE WE GOING?
138
DID YOU SEE THE PARADE?
I mean – what a silly thing to drag through those swampy streets
What did it look like?
It did not even look like a boat
It looked like a badly shaped canoo mounted on wheels
139
BUT
Don’t you wish that you had been out there?
Just to see the parade
140
THAT SCHOOL
No, I don’t like her going there
To that school
What do you mean, that school?
I wish she could go to the other school
But that’s all the way across town
I don’t understand
Why would you want that?
All her friends go there, they learn French
Why would you want to drag her all across town?
Why would you do that to her?
Is it that teacher?
That’s just a rumour
It’s the truth
We do not know that
I don’t want her near him
I don’t want that woman anywhere near my child
She is a good person, I have spoken to her
She has been teaching locals
She is just an idealist
Even downstream locals
She means well – she’s just…
You don’t understand
She’s just mislead
I’ll make sure
I’ll make sure that none of the boys will have any of her classes
Now calm yourself
Just calm yourself
141
THE CARNEVAL
B Pauls going as a bear
Why don’t you go as the president or something?
Nobody likes the president
Who is the president, mum?
You can go as a -
As a -
As a
As a soldier – that’s cool
But I want to be a snow-lepard
You can’t go as a snow-leopard stupid
142
WHO WANTS TO PLAY!
143
YES YES
YES YES YES YES
144
I WANTED THIS FERRET
That’s all I wanted it
I’d seen them
People having them
As pets
White once
All cute and lively and cuddly one that I could train
and go rabbit hunting
But my mum said no
Just no
Whatever – just no
But my grandfather – he loved me
He could never say no to anything and so he bought me this ferret
An old one
not a baby one
a cute one, but this old, one-eyed, mean-looking, smelly old ferret that smelled
Gigantic
To big for its cage
And I did not dear to take it out or hold it
Or anything
It was just in there
Staring at me
and then one day
it just escaped
and my sister had this cat
this beautiful, white cat
and it killed it
the ferret
my sisters cat
there
in the living room
145
STAY
146
I DON’T LIKE THESE RULES
147
WAIT
148
LOOK AT ME
149
DON’T LOOK AT ME
150
THE QUEEN
The queen
The queen?
She’s like 70!
So who do you want to be?
151
HE HAS ACRES AND ACRES OF FRUT TREES
And flowers from all over the world
And in the evening, all the paths are brilliantly lit
and there is a garden restaurant
and floats of music and even a whole house
filled with the finest specimens of ornithology
minerals, coins, thirtyseven wax-figures
and even a grand Cosmorama
152
NO COME ON
No come on!
I don’t know
It will be fun – all those people coming over from the other side of the border
it’s not pricy
this place
They say you can even shoot your own turkey
live at the bar
153
HE IS DEAD DRUNK
No, he reeks of it
I’m telling you
He’s dead drunk – that’s what’s the matter with him!
154
STARTS SINGING LOUDLY AND CONTINUES TO DO SO
155
SO LET THE POOR MAN IN
It’s pouring down out there!
156
QUIET SUNDAY
For the first time in yearsThe first day of the week with becoming solemnity
A great day for our organization: all the bars, the bear-gardens closed
157
THE RAOD-BUILDER
No, he is a roadbuilder
He never was in copper
Who told you that?
Roads
That’s all I say
He’s building roads
158
WHAT NONSENSE
159
FLOODS
The roads flooded
No – roads
No its flooded I said
It’s all the rain
160
ON HORSEBACK
You have to go on horseback
you have to take the canoo
It’s the only way
161
HE WALKED STRAIGHT ACROSS THE TERRITORY
162
YES, THEY ARE BUILDING ROADS
163
IF THEY COULD JUST MANAGE TO KEEP THE COWS OFF THE ROAD
164
No, there is no copper – they will never find any
165
THEY ARE BUILDING ROADS NOW
166
ACROSS THE RIVER
It’s sort of a chees-box on a raft
He has two ponies propelling this wheel
At the side of the boat
taking people across the river
167
MR SILVER-HEELS
He owns everything now
Even the public bathtubs
They call him Mr Silver Heels
168
POSTER
Rare spot at the gardens!
Two bears and one wild goose will be sat up
to be shot at
Or chased by dogs on the 20th of October at 2 O’clock
169
THEY CAME FOR THE PONY-RAISES
170
THE DOGS
I think they killed somebody
171
172
200 WOUNDED
But no causalities
173
DEAR MOTHER (while writing a letter)
Dear mother – how is it with all of you at home
Here – I am sorry to inform you – an epidemic of smallpox have broken out
The summers has been heavy with fever
The killing relentless
174
NO PERFORMANCES
I told you – There won’t be any performances today
They are shutting up the theatre
175
NO, I MEAN IT
176
Version1:
Don’t go
No don’t go out
177
WAIT TIL IT’S OVER
Better wait her
Version2:
Better wait until it’s over, til it passes
Give it a day or to and then it will be over Just like last time
178
EMPTY STREETS
There is nobody in the street –
They say old Israel came through the town with his carts laden full
with dead bodies
179
IT’S ALL A BIT SAD NOW
180
REAL SAD
He just never leaves the house anymore He used to be so social
He never goes to dances
Never goes to the shop
Never takes the cart out
He just sits there
In his chair
I think I am the only one
that calls on him and he never wants to do anything when I get there
Like play cards or –
His sons says, that when they call, that they might play the occasional
game of chess
which he always wins
181
THEY USED TO TRADE ALCOHOL FOR PETS BACK THEN
182
YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND
183
DO YOU HEAR ME?
Do you hear me?It’s your mother talking
Do you hear me?It’s your father talking
Do you hear me?It’s me talking.
184
In things I can touch
In doing the right thing
In hard work
In reading
In loads of reading – Reading always helps
185
EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE ALRIGHT
186
HEAVY WORK
This boy you’re seeing – What does he do?
He’s down at the mill
Heavy work – lifting those sacks – sure does your back in
Upstream is it?
The works?
Now it’s down by the yard, between Orchard and Plum
187
STEAMSHIPS
Look!The steamships in
188
YES, THATS THE BIGGEST ONE YET
189
LIFTING AND CARRYING
Just lifting and carrying in
Lifting and carrying
Lifting and carrying all day long
190
WHAT KIND OF WORK DOES HE DO?
So, this boy of yours, what kind of work does he do?
He’s down at the dock
Shipworking?
Engine building, I think
191
DO YOU REMEMBER
And do you remember
Do you remember John
Us is-skating on the frozen river
Watching them lords and ladies – all dressed up in
sable robes, grilling venison and drinking Madeira wine
And staying up all night
And dancing the money-musk, and the reel, and hunt-the-grey-fox, and the german-three and the pillowdance and you walking me home in the snow
192
RUM-RUNNERS
Look at those rum-runners!
Driving their cars across the ice!
193
THE ORCHARD
So yes
That’s what they do
If they want fish for dinner
They just stroll down to the river and get some
And if they want fruit for desert
They just stroll by their orchard and pick some
194
THERE IS A NEW FACTORY BUILD
they say that just the one
Just this one
Will employ 90 000 workers
195
WATCH OUT
Watch out for the dogs
Watch out for the dogsWatch out for the cats, the kids, the corner
Watch out for the boogeyman –
watch out for the girl in the jersey knitwear
Version 5:
Watch out for the august stock market corrections
Version 6:
Watch out for your health
Version 7:
Watch your health insurance
196
YOU HEARD ME RIGHT
Yes, Yes – you heard me right
That’s exactly the word I used
197
Sit up when I am talking to you
It is your father talking
198
DON’T LISTEN TO ME
199
IT WAS ONLY A DREAM
200
NO PROGRESS
No, there will never be any progress
Not with that lot
As long as they have their shindigs and their brandy and their women and their cars
That’s all they care for
Going wild in the night shooting at everything
201
SHADES
Oh – Shades? That’s an ooold place
If you ever want to get pissed in a really old place
Go to shades
You can still shoot fowls and turkey there
geese and chicken too
at Thanksgiving and x-mas, they put the fowls in a
box or something, at some distance in the rear
and then when the fun is over
they raffle off the victims in the bar
one should think one still lived in the seventeen hundreds
202
SURE BENDS YOUR BACK
Sure bends your back this work
It does
Brutal to the body
Brings money though
Be that right
203
A RIVERBOAT AND A MANDOLIN ORCHESTRA
What do I remember the most?
A riverboat lunch with a mandolin orchestra
204
WHICH BAR
You know
Back then – if you wanted to know where anybody
Or whomever was
You just asked: which bar
205
RUNAWAYS
That tailor
That’s why he built that bar
To hide runaways
No its true
They hide there – waiting to get across the border
They smuggle them across the border at night
They have this tunnel and they call the other side
Do you know what they call the other side?
They call it dawn
Over here with us, its dusk
And there
On the other side of the river – There is dawn
206
RUSSIAN JEWISH GRANDFATHER
I told her that my Russian Jewish grandfather
Got busted running sugar for that uptown gang
Did she believe you?
But it’s true
207
A SILVER SPOON IN A CROWS NEST
That’s what they found: a silver spoon in a crows nest,
a pink rubber band
208
LIST OF SHHIPS
Superior
Sunnyside –
Cambridge
Champion
Vulcan – a schooner
Jane Bell – a Bark
Sweatheart
Delaware
and R. N. Rice – a Tug
Pathfinder
Reindeer
Monticella
Annie L. Young
S. Baldwin
Jenny Briskow
Hope and then Monitor – a bulk carrier
Scow No 1 and No 2 in 1886
Niagara – the Tug in 1887
Then Inter-Ocean
Victoria
Queen of the Lakes
And Myrtle
Fortune
Excelsior
and then in 1878 – the first ferry
in 1888 – the third and the forth
Then Transport
and Garland
and Iron Age
and Lee
and Boston
and Algomath
Sappho
Albony
Landsown
Pioneer
Promise
Arrow – that was a good one
and Argo
Aragon
Troy
Tashmoo
Orego
and Liza
209
IT’S ME
210
DID YOU KNOW?
Did you know!?
What?
Did you know that the first elections we had in this town
took place in a bar
211
PEOPLE HERE ARE NOT THE SAME
I don’t think I was ever meant to go to the city
I never thought the city was all that
people here are not the same
212
I’M JUST A FARMBOY REALLY
213
THE SMALLEST TOWN IN THE STATE
I’ve always been alright with stuff like that – being from a small town and all
being from one of the smallest towns in the state
Not even a town
if you think about it
just a church
and a gas station
a music pavilion
and the buss-stop
214
JUST FOR A MINUTE
Can I put my head in your lap?
Just for a minute -Just in your lap –
215
YES I AM HERE
Version 1: Yes, yes. I’m here.
Version 2: Yes. I am here.
It’s me.
Version 3: I’m right here.
216
WE SHOULD NEVER HAVE COME
I knew it
We should never have come
217
DON´T WORRY
Don’t worry
They would never dream about doing something like that
218
WE HAVE TO HELP THEM
We have to help them
They can’t read or write or anything
219
I WILL BE HOME SOON
Don’t sit up.
Don’t answer the door.
Just keep the lights on
I’ll be home
I’ll be home soon.
No, nobody is coming
220
MURDER BY THE SCHOOL
They shot him in the head
took all his clothes off and left him there
221
Look at me
Open your eyes and look at me!!!
222
A NEWCLEAR BOMB BY THE CARLSBERG CAVERNS
You know – oncewhen a nuclear bomb was dropped
nearby the Carlsbad caverns some time in the fiftiesas a test – the government watched the lake in that
cavern very carefully, to see if the blast caused ripples to appear
on the pool’s surface. None did.
Not a ripple.Non
The earth – It must just have swallowed up all the vibration
223
CAVES AND BATS 1
Did you know that 1942, the Army trapped thousands of guano bats in the Carlsbad Canyon in New Mexico and put them in a refrigerator to trigger hibernation. Then they strapped 9 gram bombs in 1 gram containers filled with kerosene onto the bats, held on by a string on their chests. The idea was they’d release these bats over Japanese cities. The bats were supposed to chew their way through the string to get the bombs off, and leave them where they did. But in the trial run, some bats never woke up. And others escaped, and set fire to a hangar and a general’s car and so the program ended in 1943.
CAVES AND BATS 2
There is connections
There is connections: Bats and caves. Caves and bats.
Few military conflicts in history have ever been conducted without the use of caves. Think of Jesse James.He hid out in caves, and in 1863 excavations uncovered an 18 story deep city dug into soft lava rock, that could protect 20,000 people, – in Cappadocia, Turkey. And in France, during WWII, they dug a huge underground complex of tunnels and spaces, with an above-ground fort around it, called Maginot Line.
And there is the Vietnam War.The North Vietnamese used caves and underground dwellingsAnd Afghanistan. Not to mention Afghanistan and the Zhawar underground complex in in the mountains up there.The Taliban know their caverns.
There is this connections. Between war and caverns.
Caverns and and bats.Some have suggested that since bats fly into caves and that since the Taliban is in caves, we should try this type of thing again, but scientists say the problem is bats that are kidnapped, disoriented, and then dropped from 1,000 feet, do not act normally and fly into caves. They act in unpredictable manners instead.[ii]
224
AS IF LIFTED
and the bed was moving
A moment
it is as if everything just floated
As if she was lifted
As if the world had turned into liquid
balancing on a breath
like a baby’s
when it has just stopped crying
a quiver
running through everything
225
READING ALWAYS HELPS
I don’t know if I believe in destiny
Or that it’s every man for himself
I believe in luck
Or hard work
And reading
Loads of reading
reading always helps
226
ARE YOU STILL UP (on the phone)
Are you up
Are you still up?
Are you up?
You shouldn’t be up.
No, no. Don’t wait up for me.
There is no need to. No need to be up – No reason to wait
I’ll catch a bus.
I’ll catch a cab.
I’ll get on the subway.
What noices
Just don’t answer the door.
Just don’t you answer – do you hear me?
What noices is that
And don’t you open –
And not your sister either. You tell her – If she wakes up.
If there is anybody
there at the door
Do you here me?
Listen to your mother
Until I’m there
*
(on the phone)
– Buttercup
Is that you?
–Why are you answering the phone?
– Why aren’t you sleeping?
Why are you up?
– And your sister?
She isn’t sleeping?
– She is sleeping?
Why couldn’t she sleep?
Why is she not sleeping
– I’ll come
I’ll come right now
You keep the lights on. Just keep the lights on.
Keep the television on. I know – I know. Just to keep you company. Just until I’m there
227
COME AS FAST AS YOU CAN
228
BOOK CLOSE TO FACE
My father
He gave me this other name
because I read all these books
Constantly reading they said
He called me
Book close to face
But like
in his own tongue
In his language
Like –
I couldn’ even say it.
I’d like to hear it.
I couldn’t event pronounce it.
I’m sure it’s beautiful.
I can’t even remember it
even
to be honest
I’d had to ask my father next
BOOK CLOSE TO FACE IMPRO
I had it in my family
I was called – stare in the air …
From my father
That’s so funny
…
My father – gave me this other name
I was constantly reading – and spacing out
daydreaming
And he called me stare in the air – and – he but like in his own tongue
In his own language
Like
I – I don’t – I don’t remember anymore really
ehm
I am sure it’s beautiful
AI would have to actually talk to him
I would have to talk to my father first, and find out.
Hm
You know my father – he gave me this other name
Because I was constantly reading
He called me Book Close to Face
You know my father – he gave me the name – stare in the air
Because I was daydreaming a lot
And how would he say it?
Stierom
Stierooom
Stierom?
And the other version was – eeeh Guck in die luft
Laughter
Mmm
Mm
Do you have a second name?
A second name?
I had two
I actually I do not remember it
I don’t remember how to pronounce it
He said it in his own tongue, his own language
Like – like what?
I don’t remember
I’d like to hear it
I’d had to ask him
I am sure its beautiful
229
WHAT AM I?
Close your eyes
Say what am I
Close your eyes and feel me
So – What am I
No. Further down
Further
Oh
Fuuuuury
Its reeeeaaaal fur
As real as can be
So what am I
It’s soft
Isn’t it
And warm
Mmhm
A minx?
Can I taste it?
Can I smell it
No tasting
No smelling
Just touching
No that’s not allowed
So there are rules?
So
You’r a little baby rabbit
You’re a kittykat
You’re a monkeypaw
You’re a baby bear all warm and snug
230
A SHINY SLIPPERY THING
A fox deep in his cave
A shiny, slippery thing –
A baby bear all warm and snug
Oh let me see you
Oh why don’t you let me in
231
LAUGHTER SINGLE
232
LAUGHTER PLURAL
233
THE MAN WHO ATE HIMSELF TO DEATH
By the way – did I tell you about that man who
ate himself till death?
234
NO, LET GO OF ME
No, let go of me
Let go of my hand
235
WE WILL BOTH FALL
Just let go of me, or we’ll both fall
236
CAN´T WAIT UNTIL EVERYTHING IS BACK TO NORMAL
237
FACE DOWN
I don’t know this man
They found him in the streets, face down
all his in intestines were gone
238
THIS TOWN IS ALMOST BANKRUPT NOW ANYAWAY
239
THEY ARE COMING
They´re here
They are coming
240
DREAM OF CHILDREN BEING TRANSFORMERS
I had this dream
This strange dream
the children – being transformers – or robots or zombies
hiding in the bushes watching us
and we were having this barbeque party
everybody laughing and drinking
241
THE THINGS WE ARE DOING TO EACH OTHER
I imagine her
touching herself
She is thinking about me, my wife
It turns her on
The things we are doing to each other
My neighbor wears this really tight skirt
its green
I find her at e-bay.
at finn.no
She is selling her dress.
She is selling her shoes, her coat, her dishwasher
She is selling her fridge, her chairs, her pots and pans
Sometimes I see her carrying out her trash
Big bags of it
I awake at night thinking about her
her trash
her house
where the rooms are situated: The kitchen, the bedroom, the hallway
I see her standing there – her mobile in one hand, her coat in the other
I imagine her touching herself – thinking about me – about my wife – and the things we get up to
242
I BELIEVE IN LUCK
some people just have more luck than others
I believe in that
243
THE FREAKY WHITE BOY
And this car came driving down the street
real slow
No headlights
Just silently driving in the dark
Down the road
And this kid jumped ut
This tiny kid – no more than fourteen
All white and freakly
And he had this bat
This baseball-bat – and he thumped him
AThis other boy
A tall musculare looking one
And he just collapsed
Went down on his knee like
And then he thumped him again
That freaky boy
At the left of his scull
Like right behind his ear – and he just like keeled overon the sideAnd then there was this other carIt just came out of nowhereAnd these local boys jumped outHuge, tattooed guys with mohawks and army boots
And then it just exploded
The whole street – it just went crazy
244
THEY SHOT HIM – THE DIALOGUE
He was just stopping at red light
Where?
Does it matter where?
Was he local?
What do you mean local?
What do you mean where?
Don’t you care?
Of course, I care
People just go about shooting people at random
Just like that
It wasn’t at random
He just stopped for red
Yes, but it wasn’t at random
And he wasn’t a local
What do you mean a local?
You mean – you are sure he wasn’t local?
Well anyways – it wasn’t at random. They probably just wanted his car
245
KICKING AND KICKING HIM
They just kept kicking and kicking and kicking him
And you just kept on kicking and kicking and kicking and kicking and kicking and kicking and kicking her in the face
And you feel like running – but you don’t know where
They just kept kicking and kicking and kicking and kicking and kicking and kicking him
He had this knife
This really long Japanese looking knife
And his eyes was all wild
246
HE HAD TATOOS RUNNING ALL THE WAY UP HIS SCULL
247
I SAW NOTHING
I saw nothing
I did not see anything
248
YES I SAW HIM
Yes, I saw it
It was him
That fucker did it
249
RUN!
250
DO IT!
Just do it!
Just bash his scull inn
251
WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE MOVED HERE
Why did we move here
We never should have moved here
252
LOOK, HIS FACE IS ALL GONE!
253
RIOT SEQUENCE 1
Tanks
WHAT
Come and see
Not tanks
There
Is it the army?
It’s the luting
That’s why
It’s political
People can’t just go around taking whatever they can get their hands on
It’s the riots – not the looting
Its political, I’m telling you
Tanks in our streets
I can’t fucking believe it
RIOT SEQUENCE 2
1: Riots!
It’s a riot
2: What riot?
3: They’re rioting
4: They’re going wildall of them
5: Call the police
6: Close the door – there
7: Call someone!
8: They say its out of control
9: What’s out of control?
10:Oh no – the car!
11: Who’s shooting?
12: Nobodies shooting
13: They’re coming
14: Where are the children!
Get the children!
15: Yes, yes. I’m here.
Yes. Yes. I am here.
I am here – Mummy’s here
16: How on earth did it get to this?!
17: What in heavens name is happening!
18: It wasn’t his shop
19: Look what I got!
20: What are you going to do with that toaster?
21: It’s too heavy!
22: No one trusts the police
23: It’s going to be alrightThey know what they are doing
24: Do they know what they are doing?
25: Get it under control!
26: Their animals, the lot of them
27: We should never have moved here!
28: They are looting the stores!
29: We are a family now, and families stick together
254
CHIRST MAN
Christ man
Why do you leave your shoes lying around!
And what’s this bread doing on the table
Now its all dry and hard
255
MY IDEAL SHRINK
If I could choose my ideal shrink
He would be like this guy – that repairs cars
And then you go to his garage
And you talk, and he listens
He can listen to cars – so -
He can listen to people
And he likes it
And you notice it, and it makes feel ok
And his wife makes cookies
and they get like reeealy popular
because people find it relaxing you know
to be with this guy, and his wife and his cars
256
THE SNIPER
I mean – There is a certain kind of framework that you are supposed to fit into
Consensus paralyses action
I mean – if the idea of what you cannot do is stronger than the idea about what you can do
Like the sniper
What about the sniper?
When he hits
I mean – there is the voice of reason and then the will to act and then –
the sniper –
These are the days of the sniper That’s what I think It’s all about what you do and what you say Cause and effect Cause and effect
Like when the link is broken then – If what you say – does not mean anything
There is no effect
And the sniper?
That’s what I mean
If the link is broken, then –
You have guns?
Sometimes I feel
Like I’ve just lost my voice
I have no voice
I open my mouth to speak – and its just –
gone
It’s just a feeling
It’s psychological
I am sure it’s psychological
Off course it’s psychological
SILENCE
Why have guns if you are not going to use them?
A/B
this is the time of the sniper
You just get yourself ready
You chose the spot
Get on top of a roof
Find your position and then
BANG !
And then you get it over with
257
SPACE AGE
I mean that’s why they call this age the
Space – Age
258
THE 1 %
The first thing that popped into my head after reading this was images of 1% ers leaving a bunch of huddled and scared masses, on luxuriously decked out-space shuttles.....
259
I CAME FOR MILK
I came in for milk
to borrow some
He stood by the fridge
and they had all these
notes
on the refrigerator door
Not real notes
just words
Strange words
Like:tribe
corruption
family
good
rape
Words like that
Like some people havejust randomly
across their refrigerator door
260
MARY
and I think about Mary –
She dreams of owning a small Deli in her own skyscraper and now she drives
At least once a month she drives
I see her driving off down G avenue four a clock in the morning with a gun in the glove compartment –
Lately it just happens all the time
I see her as I return from the night shift
Always hard to get to sleep
I am such a light sleeper those first hours and I hear her car
Almost once a month – she takes that drive
to find a broken front window
They have been running it for 27 yearsthat delileasing it from a guy that still has all his confirmation-money in unopened envelopes.
It used to be great down here
Now the alarm wakes her up in the middle of the night
and she picks up the gun
and she gets into her car and drives all the way down
Onto the freeway
Towards the river
picking up cardboard on the way
to stop the alarm
clear away the glass –
wait for the police that never turns up before long after they have opened in the morning.
261
This is the thread in my hand This is my handNo more childrenThere just is no room for it –
This is the thread in my handThis is my handThis is the thread as it passes through itI’ve told you I’ve told youDon’t kiss me like that – there is no room for itThis is the thread in my handThis is my handThis is the thread as it passes through itAs it enters the machineAs the machine eats it upAs my hand reaches outand touches the metal, my knee, the softness of the woolYes I love you
This is the machine
Reds, blues, greens, yellows
It is in my hand – the wool – my mouth sore, the taste of beans and greens No more children I say – no moreWhen you sleepI kiss you
My hand is hardIt is the workIt is the noise – the dark is so quiet I cannot sleep
SeeSeeSnow falling
262
IT´S LIKE A TRIBE
It’s like a tribe
It’s like a very corrupt tribe
263
20 BOXES OF FROZEN PIZZA
When I walk through my neighborhood
I hold my phone up
and move my lips
Pretending that I am talking to someone
so that I do not have to stop and chat
because
I’ve had enough of that
of my neighborhood stopping me at random
like in the stairwell
or calling me over and over again
on the phone
sometimes in the middle of the night
And one time
one of them just came towards me
and like
moved straight into my private space
and then he started reading this poem
this like really sexual poem
into my face
So now sometimes
when the phone calls
I just don’t answer
remembering the time
when one of my neighbors called me
like twenty times the same night
offering me 20 boxes of frozen pizza
And this guy
he is like
really bigreally tall
really heavy looking
He murdered this man
Everybody knows it
He put a radio inside him and he died
264
I HOLD THE FABRIC IN ONE HAND
I hold the fabric in one hand
And the ribbon in the other
It’s snowing outside
No sound
Just snow
The needle and the thread
The thread and needle
I hold the ribbon in one hand
The fabric in the other
My selection of feathers
My selection of buttons
My selections of linings and beads
I am thinking of poppies
I am thinking about leaving this house
I am thinking about the sound of snow that has no sound at all
The ribbon in one hand
Dust on the floorboards, the mantelpiece – not moving
I am not moving
How long since I moved
Just the snow
Just this needlework
Just this endless row of hats
Ladies
Tea
Sacks of coal
I need to buy another sack of coal
I need a hand against my neck
Sometimes I feel as if I am dead from the waist down
Is this age?
The ribbon in my hand, the dust, the dead fire – the sound of snow falling
Blue
Stacks of blue
Shades of blue
My beads – emerald, crimson, bone-whiteThe china in my cup
I have to let go of it – the ribbon
Dear hand – you have to let go of it
The work is never over
I have to let go of it
This fabric
This hand
A pair of scissors in the wicked basket
All this beauty
feathers
the ribbon
in the snow
a raven black cat across the lawna raven black cat across the lawna raven black cat across the lawn
265
DOG ON ACID
In my village
everybody knows everybody
And this man
this man –
he tried to murder his grandmother
He used to do acid
and then he gave acid to the dog
and he put his dog
that was on acid
on this little boat – and just sent this boat
far out into the ocean
– Can you imagine?
– A dog
– This dog
on a tiny boat
all alone
far out on there
266
DEEP SORROW HIT TODAY
Deep sorrow hit today
I’ve always thought that the right wing backlash was a predictable result of and a response to the strength of progressive gains; in a way a measure of all the progress we have made in the last decades in trying to dismantle racial, gender, sexual identity and class inequalities. Occupy gave me hope, Black Lives Matter gives me hope, 350.org gives me hope, Code Pink gives me hope and Standing Rock gives me hope – these have all changed the terms of our... national conversations and that’s amazing! And I thought we had come far enough, and there were enough of us, to be able to keep the forces of bigotry at bay. But I was wrong.
I can’t believe that all the things that I have worked for over these last 4 decades – that these are all in danger of being obliterated now
I mean this can’t be it – can it? (Kristin Nordreval on facebook aftert the Trump election)
267
THEY NEVER COME AROUND HERE ANYMORE
268
IT’S MY FATHERI worry about him – I mean – this is all he knows
All he’s ever done
That place – it’s his life
I mean – fuck them
Fuck themI mean it. Really – screw them all
Every day he’s been going there
Keeping it all neat and tidy – the brushes, the scissors, the shampoo
The same chair
The same smell
The same old customers
Just
older
And now they want to chuck him out
These entrepreneurs
They’ve bought it
All of it
That whole apartment block and now they want to get rid of them – the tenants
the kebab-joint, the brick-a-brack-shop, my father’s saloon –
The flower shop was the first to go
There is some kind of scruffy art-place there now
Keeping the space warm and paid – until he gets rid of the rest
Until they take the offer
The money – and they can release them from their contracts
He never talks about it – my father
His situation, as he calls it
Never talked much anyway –
But I know that he is thinking about it
constantly – how they are getting in everywhere the project-makers, the developers, with their fancy conference-hotels and their renovating-sceems
Tearing down and building up until it all looks the same
269
DEMOCRACY
The first premise for democracy is that we disagree. Don’t you think?
And that there are problems to locate and discussions to be had on how to solve them.
At the same time, there has to be a certain agreement on what values we share, and while disagreeing and discussing, we have to show respect for one another, and we have to agree upon this respect being essential. That underlying everything we do, are some basic human rights. That both humans and animals has an undisputed value in themselves.
Sometimes I think that we consist of layers. Layers of different values and actions. And that they form the bases for our choices, both as collective and individuals. And then the question is – how does these two things play together? Say – that we are – really concerned with animal welfare, and at the same time we keep on eating meat. And that we can state that we are for animal welfare, at the same time as we eat meat from animals that we know has been mistreated. Its like our actions constantly work for or against our basic values. Sometimes they match, but its like a lack of logic there sometimes, don’t you think? Do you think? Or am I just talking rubbish?
270
IS ANY OF IT REAL
Look at this
Look at this!
Is any of this real?
271
OWL 1
Well that’s an owl, a great owlAnd it’s on the end of a space rocketThe rocket is set off to space from the launch padwhich is in Cape Canaveral , Florida – in the middle of this enormous wasteland – from which it sets offAnd how we got to the wasteland – we started from the mediaeval doorI felt secure thereI was asked to find a place like that – and I did – and from this safe place – I cross the square and come to this house that is about to fall off a cliffIt does not exactly fall off the cliff into the wasteland – and I don’t really know what it is – that space between the house and the cliff and the wastelandNor can I explain how I got from one place to the otherBut I am there – in this wasteland – and I find myself – or one find oneself in the space – centre, the launch pad-area where the rocket takes oooooof – and takes the owl into space.In natureThe owl would be sitting on top of a telegraph-pole or – at a high place, but for some reason it is nota telegraph-pole It’s a space rocketAnd I am not – I am not anythingI am just an observingWatching all of this happeningA somewhat frightened observer – because it’s all a bit disconcerting
All very strange and worrying
A little bit intimidating, but there is a feeling of hurry – and I am running across the wasteland
Towards the cliff
But I don’t know what happens then
I have no idea
727
OWL 2 IMPRO
All owls are very mysterious
They are difficult to guess – they give the impression
Of commanding the whole environment from high up and with an absolute minimum of movement a real
Economy of using virtually no energy – they just
Move their head a little bit – off course
It just rotates
The head of an owl – it just rotates without you even knowing if it really has a neck or not
Just turning around – surveying the environment really quietly – not – not
Alarming any possible pray that might be in the environment so – commanding the environment so that any
Life
Any – other animal life or birdlife that’s within a 150 meters of the owl is basically conscious that the owl is there – cause it could loose anything
A rabit or a dog or anything – could basically they could basically loose anything
their lives – if they do anything wrong with an owl hanging around – up at the top ofa pole – But since the owl is actually on the space rocket it kind of looses some of its
some of its natural power
cause
that’s not really a place where owls probably wants to be – on the top of a space rocket
I think its forced to go out there – probably against is own will …
And everything is moving much faster – I mean – that it ever would have wanted to be moved – sooooo – so its not a natural situation for the owl – if one compares with its natural invironment
273
THE DEATH OF THE HONEY BEES
Like – I read it in the paper – this Sunday morning – it said that the honey bees had started to die in massive numbers.All the hives. Died on the spot, totaling about 2.5 million bees.A woman stated on facebook – that walking through the farm was like waking through a graveyard. Pure sadness
278
CLOSING
they are closing it down
279
CLOSING-TIME
They are closing down the factory
They are closing down the works
They are closing down the yard
The mill
The diner
I went down there today
They gates were locked
The door was looked
They’ve barricade it
You could walk right in
It was all gone
The machines, the shelfs, the storage
All empty
280
DEPRESSION
70,000 abandoned buildings, 31,000 empty houses, and 90,000 vacant lots
281
GIVE ME MY KEYS!
Give me my keys!Give me my keys
Give them to me!Just give me my keysGive me my keys -My keys – Give them to me!
282
HE JUST SHOUTS
My neighbor – He is no problem
really
He just shoutsLike shouts really loudover and over againlike the same phrase – Just like: Give it here. Give me my keys! like 40 times in different voices and I sit there, in my living room, and I listen to him.
My wife likes it less than I do. It kind of scares her, the way he just goes on and on. I guess it’s because she’s pregnant. She worries about the child. About whether this is the right kind of environment for our child to grow up in
Sometimes I go down. To the basement.You can hear them even better down thereThe way they carry on
I sit there on the washing machine
– and sometimes I see him – like
driving off
in the middle of the night.
And his wife thereon the lawnin her rubber boots
or in her bathrobe knee deep in snow.
283
WE LIT A FIRE IN THE BASEMENT
284
THE GOVERNMENT
there are killings again
It’s the government
Go back to sleep
Its just target practise
Its just some kids fooling about
They are doing it
Going from house to house
The dogs went wild with barking
I think they have killed everybody
Like the gangs used to
Soon they’ll go around
burning down the houses
285
RUBBISH
All that rubbish
Big plastic bags full of itHow can one person manage to produce so much junk
286
RATS
Rats
Worse than rats – the lot of them
287
CLOCKS, STEAM ENGINES, CAT-FOOD, RIFLES AND BULLETS
Clocks, steam engines, cat-food, rifles and bullets Clocks, steam engines, cat-food, rifles and bullets Clocks, steam engines, cat-food, rifles and bullets
288
FUCK THOSE BLOODY POLES
289
90 000
90 000 workers
290
CLOSING US DOWN
Version 1:They are closing us down
Version 2:They are closing it down
291
THE OWNERS
Why says that?
Say what!
That they are closing it down
What do you mean?
Who are they?
They who?
292
SELF MEDICATION
– working with animals, I’m just so fucking tired.It’s not the animals – it’s the people. They self-medicate.I want to go to Alabama. Raise horses, start a farm down there.All my Family is from down there – you know. Back when they came –Always loved horses.There used to be a stable down here. The house is still there. I used to go there as a child. I was the only black person. I thought that there were no black jockeys but then I learned that in the South, before the ku klux klan went through it all – all the prize winning jockeys were black.
293
THE HATERS
They used to be hating on us. Now they are all coming down here.in their cars.
They can’t even cross the streets. They can’t even walk.I mean now they all say they support the team – in that time, when the stadium was down there – now we all go to the games, now when they are winning. But then – there were hardly any at the games. When they were one dollar a seat and you could bring your own food.
I remember like, when I was four, and my mother had brought me that new shiny jacket, you know that team jacket, and we went down there, and we walked over that overpass and it was a summers day and I was all proud and all.
294
THE PIANO
He does not do anything anymore
He just sits up all night – playing that piano
And now they are coming to get it
He picked it up when he got that job – but then he never payed for it
295
THE KEY
Do you have it?
The key?
296
TICK TOCK
We think that we’ve got’n rid of it
We think we’ve stashed it away in the attic and then it keeps on reappearing in the living roomIt’s like this alarm clock tickingYou can put it under your pillow, in the cupboard, but it keeps on tickingTick tockTick tockTick tock
297
THE ONE-HANDED SHRINK
This shrink I started going to, he does not have a hand
He has like – not even half a hand
So he puts forward this stump
And you grab it
And it’s like the most beautiful thing
298
COME ON. YOU ARE HOLDING ME UP HERE!
299
A LITTLE BOY RUNNING
You hear him
their little boy running and
Running
running and
across the floor
300
DO YOU HAVE IT
The car?
301
SHAME
The fact that you don’t own your own words!
Not even your feelings
That they are not original
That they are/feel even made
They create shame
They come from society, from our parents – they create shame
We fight
With this self-censorship
302
BEHIND THE HOUSE (while writing on a computer)
We are growing corn again now
And apples and pears and grapes
And my neighbour he has bees
Beehives
Behind his house and on the ceiling
303
THE HUSBAND
My neighbor
she really want to be like us
you can see it in her face
And her husband
He plays a lot of footballgames
And he has this small office and she knows
That he will never make this amount of money
To get the house of her dreams – That her friends has
And I meet her even in the shop
Or I meet her on the doorstep
And she tells me everything
I met him on the boat
The husband
And he was going to Poland
On a guttetur
And he says
We are going to Auschwitz on Sunday
if we are not to drunk on Saturday
Its so hard – he says
After so many years
With my wife
things
no sex
304
IT´S PSYCHOLOGICAL
In a way it’s his problem, isn’t it?
Sure it’s his problem – but now it’s mine too
I think it’s psychological
Maybe you should talk to somebody
Maybe you need like a third party?
Yeah
I think so
A third party
Some friends of ours decided to go to this shrink
And they wanted him to be an older man
You know – wise maybe, or experienced
And they found this old man
Who kind of look like her dad, and she liked that
He was a couple therapist
A family counselor
And he was like 65
And now they go there like every week
And she says
It sort of become a part of their lives
It does not solve anything, she says – but it’s like a ritual
Like family
Ah – isn’that lovely
I mean, he isn’t family – they pay him
I think you need something like that
Some stability, some continuity
She also told me – that he only has one hand
Like when they came there, and he came to the door – she discovered that he only had one hand
The other hand was like gone
Just a stump – and I don’t know
I just couldn’t deal with that
305
FALLING SEQUENCE
1: What happened?
2: He fell
2: Did he fall?
4: What’s up?
5: He fell
6: Who fell?
7: He just lies there
8: Get him upWhats wrong with you! Somebody get him up!
306
DARLING
Darling look at me
307
IT`S THE LATEST MODEL
Do you like it?
It’s the latest model
Is it the colour you like
Powder blue
It will take us straight across town
Straight across town – no waiting around in that tramline anymore
308
HE HAS THE NICEST CAR ...
309
WATCH OUT FOR THE TRAM!
310
YOU ARE HURTING ME
You’re hurting me
311
THE BOYS SWIMMING
No they went swimming
The boys
in the river
run after them
just take this lunch-box
and this apple
and run
run and you’ll catch up with them
312
CARD-PLAYING
The police came around
They’d been card-playing I thought
That’s what he said
We’ve been card-playing all night – he said, but I don’t know
They came and took him
God knows when he’ll get out
313
THE MEMBRANE
It’s like a membrane, an invisible skin that is hard – to penetrate – to find you voice in – in the society. Not just to live at the edge of it. Surviving by it – but not really beeing in it. Not being able to influence it – or criticise it.
314
THIS STREET WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
315
I WANT TO GO TO WARSAWA
I want to go to Warszawa
Play the piano
Were one of those dresses
One of those long sleeveless dresses
I dream of it at night
Me
In a lit up street back there where my folks came from
Playing
Letting the music pour out through an open window
Down to the street below …
316
THE VAN
In the van
I can’t
She can’t
She’s pregnant
She’s five months pregnant
Its January
You can’t be serous
They’ve cut the electricity They’ve changed the locks It’s not yours anymore
Jim
Its not your house anymore
It hasn’t been – if you don’t pay
it hasn’t been for years
317
JUST SHUT UP
Just shut up
Just shut up about that van
About that dog
About the government
About your dress
About that school
What school
What fucking school
Do you think I can pay for a school
I can’t even pay for petrol
I can’t sleep
I haven’t slept
This car
It’s the nicest colour but it’s not a fucking house
It’s not a fucking house
This is not fair
This is not human
We are not supposed to live like this!!!
318
THE RULER
I had this ruler.
This ruler that I really loved
And it had all these faces on it
All the presidents faces – and I loved that ruler so much
I thought I would be like them one day
that I would be a president
and it was not until later
I could have been six maybe, or seven
when I noticed
when I saw
that they were not like me
that they were different
their faces – not like my face
That they were men, and that I was not
And I wanted to be one
a man
like my father
or a boy
like my brother
I loved my brother
and I could not believe it
how all
how all of them could be men and I
was not
319
SHIT
shit shit shit
shit shit shit shit shit
shit shit shit shit fuck this shit
320
HOLD ME
Please hold me
321
Are you lost or something?
322
YOU OVER THERE
Can I help you with anything?
323
ANIKA IMPRO
1.
No it wasn’t
No – it wasn’t
No. It wasn’t. osv
2.
Nei – va då?
Nei, det va det inte.
Nei de va det inte
Nehehe i de va det inte osv
Va det det?
3.
It wasn’t what –
It wasn’t what?
It wasn’t osv
4.
Vad va de inte? Vå da?Vad va det inte
Vad va det inte?
VAD va det inte? Osv
Det va inte vad då?
Vilket va det inte?
Vad va det inte för nånting?
Det va inte vad?
5.
Are you sleepy –
Are you sleepy?
Osv
Are you asleep?
6.
Sover du?
Är du sovnig?
Âr du sövnig – etc
(whispers) sover du?
Sover du –
Nnnnn – hhhnnnn (hums)
324
IT IS YOUR OWN FAULT
I mean
If you can’t be successful it’s your own faultI mean it
That’s what they say
That’s what people say
And if you’re not – it’s like this disease
This contagious disease you carry around with you
Wherever you go
When the society solves your problems and its own,
you are left on your own with your problem. – The fear that there is something wrong with me if
I can’t function inside these frameworks.
The only thing that can go wrong is you
325
LET´S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE
Don’t listen to me
Do not listen to me
Lets talk about something else
Something else completely
squirrels.
Black squirrels.
They came with the carnival
one time,
When a carnival came by my town
and they had black squirrels
and they spread,
And then they have been mating -
so you see a lot of back squirrels with brown tales there now
and sometimes,
there is this orchestra.
They follow what they call the organ trail,
and they play in the field
in the spring
326
DO YOU WANT TO PUT YOUR HEAD IN MY LAP
327
THE CADILLAC
I remember him riding a Cadillac
I remember him smoking on the balcony
I remember him having this video camera
That he made like tons of tons of takes with it
Of everything
Of almost everything
Of us
Taking trips
Going in the park
His car
He loved his car
I remember him filming the scenery
He used to film the houses and the streets
How he used to follow me around with the camera
filming everything I did
all the time
I used to love that
he used to say – look at me!
He used to say – turn around and twirl!
I used to perform for him
328
BLIND
Sometimes it feels like I’m going blind
I cannot see
When I try to look ahead
It is just gone – obliterated
329
I NEVER MENT TO HURT YOU
No – don’t say that
It’s not true
I never meant to hurt you
330
I USED TO SEE THE BEAUTY IN THE WORLD
331
THAT´S IT
I’ve never been able to say noThat’s itI just never –
332
I HAVE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT
I’ve been up all night
Up all night – with those bloody papers
With those number
No – we can’t work it out
It’s nothing to work out
It’s over
No more tweeking, fixing, no more avoidance –
They’ll put us under administration
Tomorrow
In a week
In a months time – but it will happen
There is no avoiding it
333
THE CONTRACT
See
There is the contract
334
LAWRENCE-QUOTE
the machine is a soft thing, it needs us
We are not the centre
We are a part of thermodynamic processes
We are the producers of technology – of hot words, and cold matter
Maybe we have the potential to deal with it all …
A TRIBE
It’s like a tribeThis governmentIt’s like a very corrupt tribe
336
I DON´T BELIEVE IN POLITICS ANYMORE
337
FIFTH FLOOR
I live on the fifth floor
I grow lemon trees in my windowsill, and apple trees and tomatoes
I take the kernels out of the fruit and then I plant them there
I’ve also tried to plant an avocado, ginger and apricot
338
THE HOUSE
So it’s yours
The house on the other side of the street
I didn’t know
I thought that it was owned buy a guy who was leaving for Florida
It was
Jimmy something
he offered me to buy it
but I didn’t first
I would never touching any property with tenants on it
and the women who lived there, Charleen – she was like bipolar
and then he said she had to get out
but it took him two months to get rid of her
from May to July
and then I bought the place, and this woman – Charleen – moved further up street
ironically enough renting With another white guy – called Kyle
and now
after she left
the house is twice the price
nobody wants to live close to lunatics and killers and crack heads – but we all have to live somewhere
and now she hates everything in Horton street
Charleen
Sometimes she comes around
In the middle of the night
And she just stand there
Outside the house
Screaming
Swearing
Calling me names
Threatening that she will kill me
Calling me a Polish, fascist, racist pig
she even hates the farm and all it represents she attacked the farmer two weeks ago with a sledgehammer
And the house?
Are you going to keep it?
if I get the right offer, I might sell
339
I NEVER SAID THAT
No!
No, I never said that
Shut the fuck up!
Just give me the keys!
Give me the keys
340
YOU DON´T EVEN KNOW ME
341
They took us to that building that had just been sold for one million dollars to the guy who has that company – Cost and Credit, and inside it – there was this cathedral-like, heavily ornamented communal area, like ten floors high from the ground level, drawn by some of the world’s best architects at the time, I mean the city was just overflowing with cash back then ...
342
LOCK IN
I can’t stand it any longer
In two months time it will be five years since I last left this building
343
THE ARGUMENT
These last week we have been arguing
Constantly
We have bought this new flat
This penthouse
This rooftop garden
This ocean view and now he wants to get rid of it all
All the furniture
All the family portraits
Even the TV
He says it makes no sense anymore
All those things we have loved and cherished
That generations have loved and cherished since we are moving
Into this new flat
He says that when we pay so much for the view
For the space
For the vicinity
that that
Will have to do
344
IT WAS IN THE PAPERS
345
IT WAS IN THE NEWS
346
NEVER BELIEVE IT
347
A WORLD THAT VOTES BREXIT
A world that votes Brexit and Trump, and kicks refugees, and watches them drown in the sea. A world that turns its blind eye on barrel bombs, extreme torture, enhungerment, genocide... A world like this is an accessory to genocide
In a just world, all of your presidents and prime ministers will also be facing some kind of international court for justice, for being accessories to murder. I no longer think I am human… we have all become barbarians (Rana Issa on Facebook)
348
THE WORLD GOING TO THE DOGS
It’s not true you know.
It’s not true what they say – that the worlds is going to the dogs.
It is a lie.
A shitty lie.
Don’t you ever believe it
Don’t you believe a word of it. They want you to believe it, but never you believe it – We are fine. Just fine, I promise you. It’s just scare tactics – You need to understand – there are countries on all levels, and most of them are ok. People are vaccinated
The number of children in the world has stopped. Stopped increasing.Most people use contraceptives. They say –
Mr Trumpon the news They say there is war, chaos, unrest - – NoNo, no, no, no –
That’s wrong. You are wrong. They are wrong! Straight up wrong!
There are a fantastic elections, competent leaders. Yesterday India was declared free from tetanus, Nigeria has a fast economic growth and – if one chooses to – If one chooses to only show the shoe, my shoe – it’s a very ugly shoe – but that shoe is only a part of me.I am telling you.I know.
I am a doctor.
I have been everywhere
I am having a shitty day, but the world is ok and I am telling you that if you choose to only show my ugly shoe – OR if you choose to show something else – like – my face, that’s different thing. You only can’t only show a small part and call that "the world".[iii]
349
THE WALK
I decided to walk straight across town
From the old slaughterhouse and then just continue west
All the way through Newtown and the upper district – not stopping
Just do drink – and eat maybe once a day
I decided to walk all the streets
To circle town
See how long it would take me
Sleep as little as possible
I do one street at the time
Circle them on the map
the one I’ve walked and the once I’ll do next
Once all the madhouses and all the jails was outside town
Now the city is catching up with them
350
A WORLD BUILD ON FANTACY
Is any of it real?
A world built on fantasy
Synthetic emotions in the form of pills
psychological warfare in the form of advertising
Mind-altering chemicals in the form of food
Brainwashing seminars in the form of media
Cold isolated bobbles in the form of social networks
Real?
You want to talk about reality?
We have not lived in anything remotely close to reality since it turn of the century
We turned it off
Took out the batteries
Snacked on a bag of gmo’s while we toss the reality into any
ever expanding dumpsters of the human condition
we live in houses build by trademarks corporations
built on bipolar numbers
jumping up and down on digital displays
Hypnotizing us into the biggest slumber mankind have ever seen
You have to dig pretty deep, kiddo
We live in the kingdom of bullshit
A kingdom you’ve lived in for far too long
I am no more real than a big mac
As far as you are concerned
I am very real
We are all together now
Whether you like it or not
(Mr Robot)
351
THE DOG
And our dog
sits down
stands up
if the light shifts
or a car passes
in the night It’s such a light sleeperSomebody turning on a lightgoing to the toiletopening a door – it just sets it off and thenit can keep it going for hours But my other nneighboursthe ones just across the street They have children, a tiny child and all, and sooner or later they will complainThey will callor come over
and tell us that the dog
That it’s impossible with that dog
And then
One night
I wake up
and the house is all lit up
Every room
the hallway
even the garage
like this bright, whitish light
A helicopter landing on the parking lot
the rotors spinning
whipping up the snow
352
LIPSTICK ON A WHORE
– the city, the main street – before, I wouldn’t even stop at red
Now its safe – although some of it is like putting lipstick on a whore
353
This has nothing to do with us
354
PRODUCTION
You want me to say it
What the this town has been producing?
What hasn’t been producing: china, candles, and cars. Canned sausages, canned beef, canned beans. Bier and bonnets. Bomb-carriers. Tanks and toys and lumber. And lard. And meatloaf’s.Stoves, and salt, and ships, and spirits Sports-ware, pharmaceuticals, paper, pens, upholstery. Tobacco, tupperware,
furniture and furnaces
Do you want me to go on?
355
IT WAS GONE
I walked through my old neighborhood, and it was gone
Just gone
356
DO YOU HAVE A JOB SEQUENCE
1: Well, you have a job
2: Well – now you have a job
3: Well –
Do you have a job?
4: Well – if you don’t have a job
5: Well, if you can’t hold down a job…
6: Well – when there are no jobs –
7: Did you get that job?
8: No job’s eh?
9: When you lost that job
10: But you lost that job
11: Better hold on to that job
357
WORKING
So brother –
Are you working?
358
359
YOU´RE GOING NOWHERE
360
IT´S NOTHING
361
AH ....
Oh – no –
Further down
Ah – that’s lovely!
362
IT´S TRUE
363
I´VE BEEN UP
364
BANCKRUPSY
It’over
365
JUST RIGHT HERE
366
TAXATION IN SPACE
What do you think about taxation in space?
Taxation.
In space.
I don’t
You know they are planning for it.It’s the resources – metals and minerals and all kinds of stuff.They say that that’s the next race. The race to colonialize – you know – space.
After the race for water – its space, they say, – and then they need rules you see
– and regulations – to have them ready. To put down some principles – on how
to tax
the revenue.
I know –
I know that –
That when you look up. When you stand there and look up at the sky, like – the
night sky and the moon – In Marysville – It can be really spectacular. In winter.
When it has snowed and the coyotes are out and you just stand there – You’ve
gone camping or something and you just stand there and look up at the sky and
the stars and you can hear them yelping in the distance, and the stars are like
tiny diamond dots high, high above you – like tiny pinpoint holes in the sky – and
the sky is so black that it embellishes all, so all you can do is just feel the pull, the
pull from those holes you know – as if they are entrances or something. Tiny
entrances to something – better – or lighter – just something bright. And you can
feel your soul, literally your soul being pulled up there, like – all the way up there
from your toes and your fingertips and the roots of your hair and you do not
think about it then – I mean that is not what’s in the forefront of your mind right
then, looking at the night sky, – I mean: taxation.
367
KEEP THE LIGHTS ON
No, keep the lights onKeep the lights on so I can look at you
368
BLAST OUT
A Sunday morning, at 10.30 – this man starts going bananas at the main squeer
Shooting at anything in sight. I mean anything. Not people but signs and busses, and commercials and doves and even the tram as it passes
369
I DON´T READ THE PAPERS ANYMORE
370
WHAT N EWS?
371
BILLS
I cannot pay my bills
I don’t have a car
I couldn’t drive it if I had one
372
I SAW IT MYSELF
373
SHE SAID SO
374
THE GOLEM
I dreamt that we found this giant, this golem – that also was a machine
A kind of robot
deep inside the thickets at the back of the park
there where the drunks hang out
First I thought was just a small hill
All overgrown, and in the dream that felt all natural, as if it had always been there – but inside that hill, hidden under leaves and branches it lay
As if sleeping
Why do you call it a golem?
I don’t knowIt was a person
but home-made
Crafted in a way
Put together by different parts and it was so big
His left eye had fallen out and lay there on the ground
blinking at me
We found this door, and when we entered – it was all dark inside
And then we saw something
giving off a faint light
It looked like an enormous cupboard
Or an archive of some sort
a series of interconnected shelves and drawers
I think they were filled with voices
Stories
No, just voices
Just people talking
Whispering
I think they where whispering
Confessing
Talking about roads leading nowhere
About an aunt
A shop selling paper
Someone found dead face down in a bathroom in a derelict building
About different types of ice cream
About a house with 11 rooms and one child for each room
and about a theatre
long gone
Torn down
Demolished and all the performances that used to go on there
And there was a voice talking about her grandfather, that had this hollowed out walking stick, a walking stick with a secret room just for stashing away silkworms, for smuggling, back then, in a previous century
And about this architect
that built this skyscraper with all these balconies – and when he had finished building it
he went up to the top one
the top balcony
and then he just
jumped
And there were talks about underwater subway-systems
and soft cars
and runaway brides
and about this boy that dressed himself up in clouds
And in one of the drawers was this map showing all the possible and impossible hiding-places any town could offer
I never dream anything anymore
I’m just out like light and then I’m awake again
375
SHUT YOUR FACE!
376
LOST
Have you ever been lost?
Like totally fucking lost
out there
and
real like
really lost and scared
Nothing fake
Real fear!
Full on
pure
just -
I wanted that
I just wanted to feel that – just once
and it was late September
at my mothers summerhouse
in the woods
and nobody knew I was there
that late in the season
And I had this plan
That I would just walk
I would just leave the place and start to walk and then continue until it got dark
And then I would leave the path
And I would just keep on walking
away from the cottage
away from the path and there
deep in the woods
I would face my fears
Soon
I couldn’t see a thing
it was like pitch black out there – and I said to myself
watch your steps
watch your steps Ann Helen
and I thought: shit
Shit
Shit, shit, shut – this is like really, really dark And I thought, fuck – why didn’t I bring a mag-light or something?and I went on like that for a while
crashing into branches, stumbling around in the moss and I was getting nowhere and I though
this is stupid
and it was getting colder
and I thought
this is pointless without a mag-light
you are going to hurt yourselves – and I decided to go it back and get one
but instead of going down back through the valleys as I planned
there was no valley
I ended up in this marshland
I didn’t even know there was marshland in that area
and I stood there
deep in the marsh
just out on this glen
and there was this moon
and a glimmering of water somewhere
and this darkness
and it was breathing
I thought
This darkness
This darkness is breathing like an animal and I thought, -
this isn’t right
and I turned left, or at least in the direction I was supposed to be going
– but I still couldn’t find my way
I was still there in the wet
Under the branches, and I got that feeling, that feeling I had as a kid when you just stand there, like – lost, in nature – and your heart is pounding and you just think FUCK THIS SHIT …and I said to myself – what the hell do you think you are doing out here? What the hell do you think you are doing out here in the dark – on your own – in the middle of the night, – you asshole-artist-face-your-fears-get-lost-in-nature-shit! And I just was truly TERRIFIED
Most of all for stumbling upon something, a corps or something
Mainly a corpseOr
t h in g s
lurking in the woods
a killer or a wolf or something –
And, I said to myself
you know
you know Ann Helen – this –
this
is just
NOT GOOD
And Why didn’t you tell anybody where you where going?
Why didn’t you ask if somebody to come and pick you up?
Now nobody is going to pick you up
Now nobody knows that you are even here!!!
Do you hear me?
Do you hear me you face your fears
get lost
in nature
cunt-face
assole
idiot– artist-shit
short pause
And there were sounds
sounds in the undergrowth
I heard them
I could not see them, but I could hear them – and I said – as loud as I could – Ja!
Ja!
Ok –
Ok – So what are you waiting for?
So what are you waiting for?
Ok!
Just eat me – just finish me off – wolf, badger, fox
Come on!
pause
(in a low voice – repeating herself) Wolf, badger, fox
And it’s so dark that your eyes hurt
You cannot see clearly, but you can smell it
the fear
Waiting for you
fear was all that was
377
JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS
378
THE MEETING
I was going to this meeting – I’d finally managed to get this meeting, – and they had asked me to be there by half past five and I knew as soon as they’d suggested it, that they were not giving me the time of day – because everybody gets ready to leave the office at five o’clock. And I kept thinking – that gives me half an hour, that gives us half an hour, and that is a very short meeting.
I mean, people have a life – I get that.Even I feel like leaving the office at five –
And I get there – and I stand there – and I can’t get in. I am stuck between two doors. You need the code to get through the second one – so I have to wait there until somebody can come and get me. And when they finally come they are all flustered and they say – great to see you, reeeeeeally great to see you, but could you just hold on for a minute, we are closing up a meeting with so and so, – who is like a real player. – Could you just hang around here for a while? – Just grab yourselves a cup of coffee, – and then I stand there, and it’s soon 16.35, – and when they finally gets out of the office, we all have to say hi, and how nice to see you, and what are you up to these days and all that. And before we have managed to sit down there is only 17 minutes left. 17 minutes. 17 minutes – and I sit there – and I listen – and one of them is having this endless monologue, explaining to me how much they would have loved to work with me, but why and how that is just not possible at the moment and that they really, really would have loved to make this happen, and how special I am, – and what an asset I am, – and I say, ok. OK – if you do not have the time, you do not have the time, and they end up compensating me with bringing up an alternative, like cash, – and it’s not bad. The cash. It is just not what I came for. And they promise me this cash, and I don’t know what to say, and I realise that I have a headache, and that I feel kind of – All of a sudden I feel nauseous, and rejected, and invaded, and disappointed, and pissed off and grateful at the same time. And when I leave there, when I leave them, I just feel like hitting something.
I mean, we had talked about this
They’d agreed, made promises –
We were going to do this togetherI had thought they were interested
I had made plans !
Long pause
And I stand there
And I can hear them talking
And I know that I should be grateful
After all, they have given me all this cash
And at the same time:
What the fuck is wrong with them!
Are they complete idiots!How can they?!?Are they just completely braindead? What the fuck is wrong with them!
And you stand there
And you can’t get in
You just have to wait
You don’t know the code
You just have to wait until somebody comes down and get you
And you wait
And you can hear them
And soon there is only 17 minutes left
379
DEPRESSION 2
70,000 buildings, 31,000 houses, 90,000 vacant lots
380
THIRTEEN ACRES
thirteen acres we cultivated that year
thirteen acres
six acres of wheat
five acres of rye
then tomatoes and sweet peas and herbs
we are taking over the coal-yard now
down in Greek town
planning on ploughing fresh ground
for potatoes
and cabbage
and this new single-mothers-program
taking people down from the north
and from up the river
381
WE´RE GOWING CORN AGAIN
382
MY SISTER DOES IT
No, they’ve started doing it
My sister does it
they grow tomatoes, and carrots,
and some greens sometimes,
you know.
Somewhere over at Midtown I can’t remember the name of the place –
but there was this neighbourhood
and there is just no one around anymore
all the houses just -
So they have this program,
a single mothers program,
and they take them there,
in busses
and they grow tomatoes,
and vegetables,
and all sorts of stuff.
and feed it to their kids, you know.
So they won’t – get deficiencies and shit.
And she does that
All that gardening – on the balconies
and the rooftops.
In the front yard of some of the houses.
And one of them is kind of hers.
Somebody had just left the place and now she can do what she likes with it – they had tomatoes growing there and bees for honey and all
She says she wants to grow flowers
Sell them at the market
383
NO VOICE
I can’t stay here – like this
It’s like – if somebody
Just anybody at all as much as open his or her mouth, or walk funny or look at you
Just as much as look at you
You feel like bashing their face in
You feel like bashing their faces in
You do
You feel like loosing it
You feel like shouting
You feel like whispering
I’ll make your life fucking chaos
You feel like grabbing them by the hair
Stepping on their hands
Putting your thumbs on their eyeballs
You feel like spitting in their faces
You feel like sitting on their stupid face
You feel like jumping on their souls
You are jumping on their soul, their faces, their hands
You don’t want to kill them – you want to destroy them, reduce them, beat them into pulp
And you keep on kicking
And you just keep on kicking
Stepping on them
On that pulp
On that mess of meat and blood and nails and knees and hair
Until there is nothing
Until there is less than nothing
Until they’re gone
384
THAT FEELING
That feeling
When you stand there
Bent behind 7 – 11
Puking you guts out
385
DICKS!
They can just sit there in that dried out armpit that they call work and jerk themselves off into oblivion!
Dicks!
386
YOUR MUM`S GONNA DIE
Your mum’s gonna die
Your dads’s gonna to die
Your grandmothers gonna die
Your dogs gonna die
387
THE GANGS ARE MOVING SOUTH AGAIN
They say the gangs are moving south
That the streets here soon will be safe again – all along the green corridor
And over to the market
That it’s going to be alright
That we are going to be alright
That this town is going to be alright
That we all – all of us
That it’s all going to be fine
388
NO PLAN
That’s not true
I never planned it like that
That’s not on me
That’s on you
It’s on you I say
This ones on you
That’s your fucking mess
Yes – We all know!
Just make sure its alright, ok?
Just make sure it stays like the holy mother of mercy – blessedly unfucked
389
THIS IS IT
This is it
This is fear
This is real fucking fear
fucking –
just
full on fear
390
I CAN NOT
I cannot live in this house all alone
I cannot take on all that responsibility
I cannot take care of Lee and Leoni
I don’t know how to do it
I don’t know how to pay the bills
I couldn’t drive a car if I had done
I am afraid of the dark
I don’t know what came over me
I don’t want to do this anymore
391
THE CRISIS
When the crisis happened I was completely shocked about how
it effected me – I just kept on running to the TV
and another bank had gone – down,
and I could not use my card, my credit card
and people started to make fun of my country, and I –
I had been the one doing that, making fun of my country –
And then I had to tell them, and be vulnerable and tell him –
this guy that was making the jokes – That: I am really worried
I am really worried about my grandparents
About my mother
About my friends
About me
392
BANG!
You get it over with
You starts shooting
At random first
then more methodically
You pace yourselves
You seek higher ground
It feels good
It feels nesecarry
It feels like this is all that is
393
THE ORDER
I would like a pad thai
without prawns
Number 23
394
BUTTERFLY-WEED
Oh no, not like that
We bottle them, you know – the honey – all golden and sweet, in thus 9-fluid-ounce jars.
The butterfly weed – You know
They are showy bright orange
and with dark green narrow leaves.
The butterflies like them. They like them especially. Like the Monarch. The Monarch does. It attracts them. The Swallowtail Butterflies and the monarch Joey pye weed 4-8’, with loads of mauve-pink flowers and the purple cone flower and columbine – in blue, white, yellow and pink
Then there is bee balm, Black eyed Susan, Trillium – Evening primrose and all kinds of flowers
395
GREEN CITY
That’s what they call it
Green city
I’ve never seen anything like it
Freeways, and skyscrapers, and meth-heads, and hookers, and pawnshops, and corn Acres of itRight there in the middle of the urban spreadThe sound of crickets, and pheasants, and a fox barkingAnd then every now and then a gunshot
396
NEUTRON STARS
Researchers have found that the ‘crust’ (or outer layers) of a neutron star has the same shape as our cellular membranes. This could mean that, despite being fundamentally different, both humans and neutron stars are constrained by the same geometry
397
SOFT SHELLS ON WHEELS
My uncle has this repairshop in an old casino and at the back
Fusing cars with modern technology, making these bat-mobiles that people surf around in these days
Like softs shells on wheels
398
ELECTRICITY
And at the top of the old helicopter-deck by the hospital
Some people are trapping wind in these huge sails like floating, bouncing, brilliant white spheres
For fun I thought at first
But now
Now I think I’ve sassed it out
I think it’s for energy
Catching energy straight out of the air
Producing lights
Lighting up thousands of little led-lights in the evening – down in that old swimming pool
When everybody just gets together and gets down to it dancing and making a lot of noise
399
A NEW EARTH
So what do we know -
Some say they have found a new earth
In space
Floating around out there – just like us
400
END MONOLOGUE
and behind the heavy cover of clouds and the snow that might still be falling, the sky is littered with tiny, tiny speckles. All the way above the cloud cover, high above the atmosphere. Littered with suns, and firestorms, and galaxies, and twin planets. With moons and asteroid belts and strange electrified phenomenon’s, and patterns resembling brainwaves maybe, or our nerve systems, all lit up and alive. And far far away, really out there, deep in the deepest space everything keep on swirling ever so slowly. Swirling and sparkling and glimmering like gold dust. There it is. Strange symmetric swirling patterns of pulsating gold dust all lit up in the dark – all lit up –
[i] Chaudhuri – Una: 1 Land/Scape/Theatre and the New Spatial Paradigm page 23, University of Muchigan Press 2000
[ii] https://web.resist.ca/~kirstena/pageunderground.html
[iii] Hans Rossling
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